You Can Take The Girl Out of Wyoming But You Can't Ever Turn Her Into Fresh Fruit

It's time.

My girl, Nykki, American by birth, kiwi by choice, is coming home today from New Zealand...uhm...I think.

Wait.

There's a whole 18-hour time difference and I get confused about what day it is for her and then I forget what day it is for me and she said yesterday which was actually my tomorrow (which, coincidentally, is now today) that she only had one more sleep¹ before she got on a plane and so, even though she's not coming in until Monday here, she's leaving on Sunday there and oh my gawd I'm so confused.

What is today?

Beside the point.

Sometime in the next 48 hours, Nykki will be here!

And I'm so excited to see her.

Nykki and I have managed to maintain our friendship across decades, miles, and years of no contact. Able to pick up right where we left off the last time we spoke.

Nykki, Brad, Grandma Francis, and Me - Casa Bonita 1989

Nykki, Brad, and Joel - senior prom 1989 - so hot she had 2 dates
Pic stolen from Brad's Facebook

She is perhaps the most colorful character in my stable of friends - and that's saying something considering the sheer number of colorful characters I've surrounded myself with - a Wyoming Princess who always wears heels and dresses, paints her nails, and has an incredible talent for knowing the crudest thing possible to say at any given moment...and then says it.











She's taught me a lot in the 22 years I've known her.

Most importantly, she taught me that if you're going to conduct a walk of shame - and you will - always make sure your panties match your shoes and your purse.

Invaluable advice.

So she's coming home.

Not for good or anything. Just for a couple of weeks.

She's bringing a kiwi man with her - Dave - and they're going to get married.

Well, OK, they're technically already married - got married in March in a lovely² little ceremony in Auckland. But I don't consider them officially married until they've consummated it on American soil...which, knowing Nykki, will be done about 30 minutes into their visit.

We're going to have to pack a lot of face time in before they head back because the last 18 months without her here have been hard. She's one of only two women with whom I can be completely candid, let down my guard, cry on her shoulder, rage against the injustices of the world, laugh about politically incorrect things, giggle about stupid boys and dumb girls, all while drinking wine or gin or bourbon.

I already miss her fiercely again. And she hasn't even gotten here yet.

Here's to New Zealand in 2011 - my post-apoca-audit vacation next year.

Nykki, Brad, and Me - 20 years later

1: Which she should be right smack in the middle of right this very second.


2: Or so I hear.